NASA recently held an online vote to determine the name of the new international space station room. While NASA thought it had chosen the preferred names (i.e. Serenity, Legacy, Earthrise, and Venture), it made the mistake of allowing write in candidates. As a result, it now appears that the name of the new space station room will be “Colbert” named after Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report.” Simply put, this is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
But….
It got me thinking… what would I like to have my name associated with if I had them money or a large public following? More importantly, what type of things would man in general like to have named? Hmmm… I now present you with my top five list of things all men would like to have their name associated with.
5) Football Stadium – I don’t think this requires much explanation. This is simply too awesome to put into words anyway.
4) A Holiday – This would be pretty awesome. Think about it… a Holiday we’re you can drink all day, watch basketball, and women scantily dressed. Now I know this sounds a lot like St. Patrick’s Day, but I think we need two days like this.
3) A Bathroom – Don’t know why, but nobody at the University donates money for a bathroom. They donate for conference rooms and business schools, but nothing for bathrooms. Why not fork over $50,000 and get your name associated with the relief room. I guess I just don’t understand.
2) A Charity – I think it would be kind of cool to have your name associated with something positive for society. I would call mine “Greg Head” and take donations from single women from all over the nation. I you know anyone that would like to “give,” please let me know.
1) A Sexual Position – ‘Nough said.
-Nitro
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Beer Pong - Beginner's Luck?
The post regarding LHM makes me think about how lucky the state of Utah was when LHM and the Utah Jazz took a chance on a young kid from Louisiana.
I would like to relate this gamble from the 80s to something that happened last week.
Trace put his reputation on the line by making me his #1 Draft Pick in beer pong. He took a chance on me, and for that I will be forever grateful.
Many similarities can be drawn between these two decisions, and while I cannot guarantee I'll be as dapper as Karl was, I can't help but wonder when our next match will occur... I do plan on wearing this shirt:
The Prez
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Just a Regular Guy From West High
Anyone who is anyone knows that Larry H. Miller (LHM) was anything but a regular guy from
All of us have something to learn from the incredible story that is LHM. A poor high school student and college dropout, LHM started his career as a stock boy in an auto parts store and through his work ethic and business savvy, became quite possibly the single most influential business person in
Taking calculated risks were one of LHM’s most prominent attributes. To help us better understand his persuasiveness and business acumen, here is a piece from the Deseret News tribute to LHM: He enjoyed putting together creative deals to finance his businesses, and, as his purchase of the Jazz demonstrated, he was masterful at it. He lamented later in his life that his business transactions weren't nearly as fun anymore because his reputation and bank account made them so easy and straightforward. When trying to put together 11th-hour financing for his first purchase of half of the Jazz franchise, he crashed a meeting of bankers and told them, "Fellas, I don't want to run your meeting, but I'm going to tell you something. I got my first telephone in my name when I was 12 years old because I was on the phone all the time. My parents had to sign for it, but I had to pay the bill. Since that time, I've been paying bills, and I've never missed a payment on anything in my life. If you can find a delinquent payment, turn me down. If you can't, make this loan."
A simple blog post could in no way do justice the lasting impact of LHM – with that in mind, I thought a photo montage would tribute different moments in LHM’s life. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show….
High Life
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Y'all Don't Know What It's Like . . .
Ben Folds said it best in his song "Rockin' The Suburbs":
Y'all don't know what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
I am feeling the need to revisit an article written by Rick Reilly, which was in the February 4th, 2002 issue of Sports Illustrated. The article is called 'White Like Me' ...
Look how white I am. Am I lame or what? Can't jump. Can't dance. Can't run. Can't dress. Can't hang.
It's O.K. I know I'm a pathetic White Guy. I'm at peace with it. In fact I laugh about it all the time. I have to. Black athletes today love to make fun of us White Guys.
Last week, for instance, boxer Mike Tyson had a little fun with white reporter Mark Malinowski at Tyson's press conference-cage match with Lennox Lewis. Grabbing his crotch and using his best prison vocabulary, Tyson challenged Malinowski to fight and then accused him of being "scared like a little white p----" because he wouldn't. In American trash talk today that's three put-downs in a row. Little. White. And p----.
Now if a white heavyweight grabbed his crotch and called a black reporter a "little black p----," he'd be spending the rest of his days playing Parcheesi with Al Campanis and Dan Issel. Nobody, though, demanded that Tyson apologize to Malinowski, least of all Malinowski.
Not to worry, it's cool! Last season Toronto Raptors star Vince Carter came onto the court to discover he was being covered by the Minnesota Timberwolves' Wally Szczerbiak. Carter turned to the Minnesota bench with a smile and said, according to Szczerbiak, "You better get this white guy off me, or I'm going to score 40." (Carter denies referring to Szczerbiak's race.)
Was Carter fined? Suspended? Ordered to spend six weeks in a white-sensitivity workshop? Nah. We're White Guys. What are we going to do, sue?
Sometimes we're not even White Guys. We're White Boys. In his book Shaq Talks Back, Shaquille O'Neal wrote, "If you get dunked on by a white boy, you got to come home to your friends and hear it."
Hilarious! Of course it wouldn't be nearly as funny if, say, David Stern wrote in his book, "If you get outnegotiated by a black boy, you got to go to the country club and hear it." He'd be taped naked to the hood of Jesse Jackson's car. Still, was Shaq rocked by scandal? Did principals pull the book out of school libraries? Nah. Because all us crackers know it's true! If we dunk on you, you really suck!
Besides, anytime you can slip in the phrase white boy these days, it's just damn funny. Now, if you called Jerry Rice a "black boy" or Ichiro Suzuki a "yellow boy" or Notah Begay a "red boy," you'd be begging spare change at a bus station inside a week. But it's fine. We're the last unprotected race, so bash away!
Some White Guys aren't sure it's all that amusing, like Denver Nuggets forward Raef LaFrentz. "When people call me 'white boy,' I take it as an insult," he says. "It's a negative racial term, just like the n word." However, Dallas Mavericks guard Steve Nash says he finds it funny when black guys tell him, "You're pretty good for a white boy."
"Besides," Nash says, "it's pretty accurate, right?"
See, we White Guys know we suck. We hear it all the time. When we hoop, we've got White Man's Disease. When we dance, we've got White Man's Overbite. When we jam, we're just Average White Band. We know if Larry Bird were black, he'd be, as Isiah Thomas said, "just another guy." We know we're supposed to giggle when Charles Barkley says, "See? This is what I hate about white people." He's right! We're all exactly the same!
When ESPN debuted its terrific new talk show, Pardon the Interruption, the preview ads promised it "wasn't pretty." To prove it, host Tony Kornheiser said, "We're old. We're fat. We're bald. And we're white." Then his partner Michael Wilbon, who is black, said, "And one of us is blind." Poor Tony. He's got the big four strikes against him right there. Old. Fat. Bald. And white. Hey, the truth hurts.
We White Guys have faced it. We're wack at most everything. Basically the only thing we dominate now is stuff black people don't have the right clothes to try -- lumberjack contests and luge. But we shred documents like nobody's damn business!
We're not mad. We've come to grips with it. Even when we do something good -- like the three white firemen who raised the U.S. flag at ground zero -- we understand you have to change two of the guys' race to nonwhite when you want to build the statue. Who wants three White Guys hanging around forever?
What, you thought White Guys had feelings?
Thoughts from the ELE Forum?
--The Prez--
Y'all don't know what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
I am feeling the need to revisit an article written by Rick Reilly, which was in the February 4th, 2002 issue of Sports Illustrated. The article is called 'White Like Me' ...
Look how white I am. Am I lame or what? Can't jump. Can't dance. Can't run. Can't dress. Can't hang.
It's O.K. I know I'm a pathetic White Guy. I'm at peace with it. In fact I laugh about it all the time. I have to. Black athletes today love to make fun of us White Guys.
Last week, for instance, boxer Mike Tyson had a little fun with white reporter Mark Malinowski at Tyson's press conference-cage match with Lennox Lewis. Grabbing his crotch and using his best prison vocabulary, Tyson challenged Malinowski to fight and then accused him of being "scared like a little white p----" because he wouldn't. In American trash talk today that's three put-downs in a row. Little. White. And p----.
Now if a white heavyweight grabbed his crotch and called a black reporter a "little black p----," he'd be spending the rest of his days playing Parcheesi with Al Campanis and Dan Issel. Nobody, though, demanded that Tyson apologize to Malinowski, least of all Malinowski.
Not to worry, it's cool! Last season Toronto Raptors star Vince Carter came onto the court to discover he was being covered by the Minnesota Timberwolves' Wally Szczerbiak. Carter turned to the Minnesota bench with a smile and said, according to Szczerbiak, "You better get this white guy off me, or I'm going to score 40." (Carter denies referring to Szczerbiak's race.)
Was Carter fined? Suspended? Ordered to spend six weeks in a white-sensitivity workshop? Nah. We're White Guys. What are we going to do, sue?
Sometimes we're not even White Guys. We're White Boys. In his book Shaq Talks Back, Shaquille O'Neal wrote, "If you get dunked on by a white boy, you got to come home to your friends and hear it."
Hilarious! Of course it wouldn't be nearly as funny if, say, David Stern wrote in his book, "If you get outnegotiated by a black boy, you got to go to the country club and hear it." He'd be taped naked to the hood of Jesse Jackson's car. Still, was Shaq rocked by scandal? Did principals pull the book out of school libraries? Nah. Because all us crackers know it's true! If we dunk on you, you really suck!
Besides, anytime you can slip in the phrase white boy these days, it's just damn funny. Now, if you called Jerry Rice a "black boy" or Ichiro Suzuki a "yellow boy" or Notah Begay a "red boy," you'd be begging spare change at a bus station inside a week. But it's fine. We're the last unprotected race, so bash away!
Some White Guys aren't sure it's all that amusing, like Denver Nuggets forward Raef LaFrentz. "When people call me 'white boy,' I take it as an insult," he says. "It's a negative racial term, just like the n word." However, Dallas Mavericks guard Steve Nash says he finds it funny when black guys tell him, "You're pretty good for a white boy."
"Besides," Nash says, "it's pretty accurate, right?"
See, we White Guys know we suck. We hear it all the time. When we hoop, we've got White Man's Disease. When we dance, we've got White Man's Overbite. When we jam, we're just Average White Band. We know if Larry Bird were black, he'd be, as Isiah Thomas said, "just another guy." We know we're supposed to giggle when Charles Barkley says, "See? This is what I hate about white people." He's right! We're all exactly the same!
When ESPN debuted its terrific new talk show, Pardon the Interruption, the preview ads promised it "wasn't pretty." To prove it, host Tony Kornheiser said, "We're old. We're fat. We're bald. And we're white." Then his partner Michael Wilbon, who is black, said, "And one of us is blind." Poor Tony. He's got the big four strikes against him right there. Old. Fat. Bald. And white. Hey, the truth hurts.
We White Guys have faced it. We're wack at most everything. Basically the only thing we dominate now is stuff black people don't have the right clothes to try -- lumberjack contests and luge. But we shred documents like nobody's damn business!
We're not mad. We've come to grips with it. Even when we do something good -- like the three white firemen who raised the U.S. flag at ground zero -- we understand you have to change two of the guys' race to nonwhite when you want to build the statue. Who wants three White Guys hanging around forever?
What, you thought White Guys had feelings?
Thoughts from the ELE Forum?
--The Prez--
ELE Attire
In response to the opening video, we must invest in the following:
16.99Buy it here:
--The Prez--
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